Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Torn Apart By Evil Beings

For years I've thought Halloween was a ridiculous holiday. Boy was I right. And wrong.

Halloween. All Hallow's Eve. Whatever its name, whatever it was, it's a melting pot of a bunch of celebrations. A celebration of the harvest; a celebration of a season; a celebration of death--wait. A celebration of death? Well, yes. And what's wrong with that? Exactly nothing. Death is as much a part of life But that's not the point (for this blog). The point is I never liked Halloween because it seemed to be a celebration of evil. (I was an avid worshiper of life and all things living, equating death with evil.) Then as I grew older and became the over-protective father that I am, I realized that I wanted to save the wee ones from the dangers of psycho candy-givers...and of being sickened by being over-sugared. Stupid holiday. Poisoning my kids with sweet-tooth-induced greed spurred on and born of the worship of evil.

I can be quite judgmental. No, really! You see, I began despising the holiday what with all that's required to enjoy it. The work, the scheduling, the corporal punishment...the celebration not of death, but of evil. (Of course this was when I decided that death wasn't evil, but evil was.)

This morning I drove to work, envious of my wife who was able to go to my kids' costume parades in their various schools. I looked forward to trick or treating with my kids. I laughed in the face of evil when I realized that when people dress up as their favorite psycho, their favorite devil, their beloved demon it could be looked upon not as a celebration of evil, but as a dispelling of evil.

Imagine, if you will, the last time someone acted like you, making a silly looking charicature of your appearance and behavior. Everyone laughed. You laughed. And you were powerless against them because they were right. That is how you look. It is how you behave. ...or near enough.

Laugh in the face of evil. Overcome evil with good. Or, as I have begun to believe, no one truly has control over you so long as you retain the ability to laugh. I dislike the idea of allowing anyone or anything control over me. And what could make anyone or anything feel powerless more than laughter at them? Even that which is evil.

Friday, October 19, 2007

It DOES Matter If It's Black or White!

Everything is black or white. If you're waffling and you think you're looking into a gray area, your perception is a bit off and you should look a little closer. You'll find that that big, scary, paralyzing gray area is actually made up of little black and white dots. Look at the dots. Are there more black or more white dots? When you decide, look at the whole problem again. It is no longer gray. Scale as necessary.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

IRS == Greedy, Manipulative Bastards

Alright, so the Acronym is a bit off. (IRS != GMB...but close enough!)

I'm sure this post could likely cause me grief in the future. I mean, it is talking about the single most powerful and single most corrupt system in the country.

So, early 2007, my accountant does my taxes. Everything is groovy. The following year, I receive a document from your friendly federal rapists. "You owe us $1,000. If you disagree, tell us why and we'll get back to you."

The accountant looks through the forms. Yep. They're wrong. He sends proof which the Infernal Raping Service confirms they received on April 23, 2007. (We moved pretty fast on this, since we were stressing about money at the time, and another $1k hit was a bit...disheartening.)

SIX months later they get back to us. "You still owe us $1,000 because we re-did your taxes for you. Oh, and because you still haven't paid, you now owe us an additional $131--because we're required by law to charge it."

Can anyone else see the problem here? They take months and months to finally respond, and charge us more money because they're so bloody slow. And further...they didn't change their tune. ...and their tune is incomprehensible. When I read statements like, "Since we changed your income and tax, we also changed the amount of your credit..." how can I not be suspicious? How is this not confirmation that this organization has entirely too much power?

I find myself drifting into the mindset of the victim of a terrorist. Well, if I pay it, all this will just go away. Then I snap out of it and enter an affronted rage. Terrorist? Never, ever do what a terrorist tells you to do. Promises of the removal of a threat if you comply is a lie; it's the act of a terrorist. Besides, I don't like being manipulated. Who does, really?

So, of course, the accountant is going to get a copy of this notice, since it's written in jargon that only an accountant can understand. (God forbid that anyone writes something that can be understood by the layman. I mean, if they did write it that way, the layman wouldn't be paying an accountant to take care of it, and that accountant wouldn't be giving away his income taxes to this disgusting behemoth.) Clearly, the accountant is going to argue it more. Obviously the IRS is going to be right--even if they're not--and six months later we're going to have to pay more interest because of their lack of alacrity. But really, what incentive do they have for being speedy if they can charge us money for their response time? Sorry, ...if they are "required by law to charge" us money for their response time.

I'll be the first to admit that it's likely not the IRS's fault. After all, they are just enforcing policy as handed down by the government. Perhaps, if they weren't "required by law" to rape us for their missing speed, they would understand that they were slow, and it was their fault that it took so long, so they wouldn't charge us that ridiculous "interest." So, what does that tell us about our policy makers? I mean besides the fact that they are obviously the single most powerful and single most corrupt system in the country. Sorry. My thesis statement was a bit off up there.

Time to simplify the tax code. Enough of the elitist, dictatorial, monarchic caste system that our forefathers ran away from so many years ago. Incomprehensible tax law, favoring the rich, oppressing the poor. Let's hear it for a flat tax! Everyone pays the same amount. It's fair. It's simple. It's quick. The obvious draw back is that it wouldn't legitimize the caste system, thereby making the rich richer and the poor poorer. Dang. Hadn't thought of that....

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Conspiracy Theory 13a

Democrats can't cut off funding for the military without looking like the bad guys. So they bring as much negative attention as possible to all the outsourced security in the country who are taking up the military's slack. Mercenaries get kicked and the already tenuous handle the military has on its staffing issues is destroyed. Spread too thin to handle established missions and security concerns, military must come home. Democrats win. Iraqi people and military missions lose.