Too..Many...JOBS!

Work, family, friends, education, and other hobbies. Who would have thought that an irrational decision from fools from above would land me in a quagmire of too much opportunity? Put aside for the moment the fact that I shouldn't even have a job given the generosity of so many employers and their benevolent actions of giving developing countries all our jobs. (It IS benevolence, right?)

A sudden cranial amputation of an all but revolutionary project using bleeding edge tools and I find myself landed in the middle of hordes of ravening recruiters making me feel almost necessary and important. Then when I realize that my finding employment is the key to their employment, I realize that I really shouldn't have felt that way at all. But I digress.

Suffice it to say that at this point--probably due to some presuppositions I've made in the recent past, and for quite some time before then--culture and experience has put the fear of unemployment into me so deeply that I fully expect to have to scramble for a job. When the project was killed and I was told to find employment elsewhere, I was pretty sure I could find a job, but I was also quite certain it was going to be at least a bit of a struggle to find something I would find interesting and educational; something at which I could earn sufficient money to support my family; something that would keep me in touch with talented and interesting friends made during the life of the project. I was wrong. In a big way. Well, at least in the number of jobs I perceived I'd have to choose from. One, maybe two. But five!?

So, having been trained to be in a Yang state of mind regarding finding a job--fiercely hunting, aggressively selling, sheepishly settling--I'm floundering in the need for an Yin mindset--methodically weighing, meticulously comparing, brutally eliminating--in a job market that seems rather interested in me--or at least my skills.

So a few things to think about when looking for a job: is it what you want to do? Is it in an environment you want to do it in? Will it allow you time for what you really want to do? (A job is only something you like to do to supply the resources necessary to allow you do what you love to do.) And for all the things the job is not, are your skills in sufficient demand that the prospective employers are willing to pay for the aspects of the job that are...unpleasant, subpar, or undesirable?

Oh, that it were that simple. Me? I apparently have this subconscious desire to torture myself in any decision that needs to be made. Not only do I find myself weighing the above questions, but I also made the mistake of making friends with people at the job I'm leaving. Friends that have really good ideas for other employment. Friends that took pains to keep me on the same team--okay, okay, friends that took pains to create a team on which we could both work.

Finally I'm left with the question: what am I doing in this business? Unstable. Unsteady. Unattractive.

Of course the answer is always: having fun doing what I like to do, and getting paid enough doing it that it frees up time and creates resources to let me do what I love with those I love. Well, most of those I love...or at least care about. The others I'll just have to make time for.